More on suckage...

I'm in one of those moods where it's apparent to me just how limited a person I am. Maybe it comes from reading Harold Bloom on the transcendence of Hamlet, maybe it comes from some frosty emails I received recently, maybe it comes from thinking about the politics of work, or perhaps just my overwhelming desire to have Sunday brunch and not have it be a solitary activity.

And maybe it comes from other stuff that I actually do know, but I'm just not putting in my blog. Because blabbermouth that I am, I really don't tell people everything.

But I am definitely in a weird mood. One of those moods where my aspirations and my reality just aren't meshing. I feel like I'm too inferior to fit where I want to be, but too ... different ... (okay, yes, I really thought "superior") to be comfortable where I am. As I don't want to get a lobotomy, I really have to figure out how to become just better. More deep, broader knowledge, more thoughtful.

And the most annoying thing is that I'm sure there are tonnes of other guys who feel exactly this way. Even in moments of existential loss of identity, it feels like I'm just cribbing from others.

The more I learn, the stupider I feel.

Allen