In honour of Pluto...

[puckrobin]

You know, it's got to suck being Pluto. First you start off with rivers of gold, and then suddenly you're just meandering in the Underworld as a nickname for Hades. Brother of Zeus and Poseidon, Hades/Pluto had claim to one-third of the world. So, why did he become such a loser?

I mean, let's look at the Disney Pluto. He's a pet to a mouse. A dog serving a mouse. And if that's not humiliating enough, the other Disney dog - Goofy - gets to live in a proper house and even has had cartoon shows named after him. But Pluto gets less respect than Scrappy Doo.

But of course, this blog entry is about the now-former planet Pluto. Even though he was a big cheese in mythology, Pluto was a johnny-come-lately to the solar system. Discovered in 1930, this Pluto is a small frozen rock at the far-end of the solar system, that always had to fend off attempts from its "moon" Charon (the mythology Pluto's ferryman) to usurp its planet status.

A few days ago, it looked like Charon might finally gain equal footing with Pluto as a planet. But yesterday, astronomers voted to strip Pluto of its planetary status instead. It's now just a dwarf planet.

That is to say, Pluto is now to other planets as the Disney Pluto is to Goofy. As I said, it sucks to be Pluto.

Personally, I was looking forward to astronomers adding new planets to the solar system. Mostly because I didn't want to see Pluto lose its status.

My fondness for the proposed new planets had nothing to do with one of them being nicknamed Xena (and having a moon named Gabrielle). Nothing at all. Well, mostly nothing. All right, maybe a bit. But hey, Xena's got a skimpy leather costume, a campy battle cry and a wilting gaze - what's not to love?

Anyway, here's to the Shermy of the Solar System and the Pulaski of planets. Or in the words of Frank Sinatra,

Here's the last toast of the evening, here's to those who still believe
All the losers will be winners, all the givers shall receive
Here's to trouble-free tomorrows, may your sorrows all be small
Here's to the losers, here's to the losers, here's to the losers
Bless them all!

Allen

Comments

[rusty-armour.livejournal.com]

I've always wondered how Goofy manages to talk, wear clothes, and function on a fairly independent basis (unlike other dogs) when Pluto was relegated to the role of the family pet. It obviously isn't because Goofy is smarter than Pluto. Unless Goofy's been sleeping with animators over the years, I think your theory must be correct and poor Pluto is a loser. It's the only explanation that makes sense. Well, that and Disney is EVIL.

I bet Disney is behind this latest humiliation that Pluto is suffering. It's not as if it couldn't afford to bribe a few astronomers. With Pluto stripped of its planetary status, Disney can reinforce the idea that Goofy is the top dog. They can launch a whole new series of DVD releases starring Goofy, and no one will ask why Pluto hasn't been given any new projects of his own. Hey, I bet this conspiracy goes all the way back to 1930 when Pluto (the planet) was first discovered. Walt Disney could have been jealous that he didn't discover a planet himself and purposely chose to punish poor Pluto by casting him in the role of a cartoon mouse's pet dog. *Suddenly breaks out into a cold sweat* What if there are other Disney characters that have been named after planets? Our whole solar system, perhaps even the galaxy itself, could be in great danger!

[puckrobin.livejournal.com]

I've always wondered how Goofy manages to talk, wear clothes, and function on a fairly independent basis (unlike other dogs) when Pluto was relegated to the role of the family pet. It obviously isn't because Goofy is smarter than Pluto. Unless Goofy's been sleeping with animators over the years, I think your theory must be correct and poor Pluto is a loser. It's the only explanation that makes sense. Well, that and Disney is EVIL.

Hell yes, Disney is behind half the corruption in Hollywood and nearly all that is undetected. (Of course, my reward for the Sherlock Holmes reference will be a lawsuit from Disney).

Is Goofy or Pluto the unique one? I think there's a female Goofy and that like Donald Duck, he has some kid nephews or sons hanging around. So, maybe Pluto's pet status is unique in the Disney universe.

I just had a horrible thought that explains Pluto's relationship to Mickey Mouse. (It helps if you've got Pulp Fiction and its soundtrack memorized.) "Bring out the gimp."

Allen